I hope you all have a wonderful day filled with family and friends, warmth and love, and thanks to God.

(click photo to enlarge recipe)
xxxxx
The weather comes quick, the sun don’t shine
As darkness falls inside my mind
So I reach out for balance against this spin
As the bitter taste of reality sets in
And if it all works together for good somehow
Well it doesn’t seem to comfort me right now
But when I’m looking straight ahead and the straight road bends
And the earth gives way and the walls cave in
Looking for a place to hide from the fears within
When the claims I’ve made I can’t defend
When conviction runs deep and belief wears thin
Looking for a place to start but I’ve reached my end
I’ll know it’s all right, I’m gonna hold tight
That’s where the faith begins...
xxxx









You can’t see what time I’m posting today, so I’ll tell you: 12:37 p.m. Wait, you ask, aren’t you supposed to be on your Wendy’s to get a post-second church service home-style chicken Go-Wrap? Yes, I am. But I’m at home, still in my pajamas having just finished off a cup of coffee, slice of pumpkin bread, and episode of Brothers & Sisters. Do I feel guilty? Nope. Should I? Don’t know. But this post really isn’t about whether or not I should have been at church this morning, but more what I’ve been pondering in the absence of doing that.
First, just because I never write about God here, doesn’t mean I don’t ever think about Him. There’s just not a whole lot to say about Him when you’re writing about Lean Pockets, apple orchards, and comfortable shoes. Just wanted to clear that up.
Where am I going with all this random business? Not actually sure. But I really wanted to talk about God because He has been on my mind this morning. And so have the topics of fear and waiting. Such have been the cornerstones of my life: afraid to change, go, trust, connect, try, etc. and impatient in waiting for “my real life” to happen.
I live in an almost constant state of fear—fear that God will turn my comfortable life upside down completely in an instant without warning me that it’s going to happen. And so I try to make sure I have at least one “bad” thing going for myself—kind of like insurance so that something really bad won’t happen. I also try to hold on to parts of my life and keep them as my own so that God can’t have His way with me. In a sense, I really don’t want to know what it would be like for God to be completely in control. I really have trouble focusing on heaven, and the purpose of being here on earth. It’s not about comfort, happiness, fun, it’s about obedience and relationship. Not that these things are mutually exclusive. He just wants it all to be in the context of Him.
I really like the post I just read at the blog, 97 Seconds with God: “I used to be afraid that God was going to make me a missionary and send me to
So nothing profound or earth-shattering happening here. Like you didn’t already know that I have fear issues, right? I think it's probably a pretty common concern to some extent anyway. So there you go.


The winds were and subsequent blackout were an unexpected end to the weekend. I was playing around the Internet in the early afternoon when the power went out. Nothing like the loss of power to get you up off your butt. I spent some time organizing and cleaning the house, and washing my delicates in the sink. Fresh out of anything else to do that didn’t require electricity, I poured a glass of wine and sat down with Love Walked In. Paul and I ended up at Paul's parents’ house, about 30 minutes NE and also without power. The blackout gave us a great excuse for an impromptu BBQ with the family.
Back to today. I’m sitting here typing up this post from home. My office, along with most of the city (over 500,000 locations), is without power so we get an unexpected day off. After the previous, taxing week, I’ll take it!






I finally get it.
I have been surrounded by teachers for most of my post-college life; almost all of my friends are elementary school teachers, and most of those are early elementary at that. I've always felt pretty sympathetic to the plight of a teacher. With exception of summers off and long holiday breaks, I've never, not once, wanted to be a teacher. I have no illusions about teaching—I know it can be difficult work and frustrating at times (or more often than not!). I know teachers earn their pay and work really hard. At the same time, I have to admit--please forgive me!--that on occasion I’ve been known to secretly roll my eyes at the complaining about “low" salaries (um, hello, you only work nine months of the year), hours of work (um, hello, you leave school at 3pm), and difficult special-needs kids (um, hello, you have aides.)
Well, last weekend I gleaned a little bit of insight into what it's like to be an elementary school teacher. I finally get what my teacher friends were talking about--and I have to say that any complaining is totally justified!
If you read Part 1 of my Sunday School experience in this post, then you know in an effort to finally get involved at church, I signed up to help out with children’s Sunday School this month. This week, the kids were sent to drama class, an opportunity to--with the help of two teachers and myself--dress up and act out scenes from the story of Joseph. Sounds fun, right? Wrong! Well, not for me anyway. I ended up as the babysitter for an exasperating little boy with ADHD (or something like that). The teachers and I were content to let the uncontrollable boy do his own quiet thing with the bucket of costumes while the other kids acted on the other side of the room--at least he wasn’t disrupting or hurting anyone. But every five seconds he wanted to do something different—everything ranging from hiding under the table, sitting in the teacher’s chair, running in circles around the room, to yelling at the other kids, and twirling a rope too close to the face of classmates. And every time you even attempted to talk to him or take away the rope or whatever else, he would scream bloody murder and run away. I’m not trained for this kind of work! How does one deal with this? This kid should have come with an instruction manual. On the one hand, the range of bad behaviors was disrupting to the class, on the other the intense screaming was even more disruptive. Ugh. Anyway, I’m sad to say that over the course of the class, my heart was not softening toward this little boy at all, even though I knew he couldn’t probably control himself. I was angry that he was taking away from the experience of his classmates, and, frankly, taking away from my experience as well.
So, now I see I’m pretty clueless about teaching, but I will never roll my eyes again! I see how immensely hard it is to be a teacher. I only had 15 kids in my class—with three adults. Most kindergarten rooms have no fewer than 20 kids. Now I see why special-needs kids have assistants. And if they don't have help, how incredibly disruptive and difficult that is! With these conditions, I’m really amazed kids learn anything in public school. So, thank you, teachers. Hats off to you! You rock!