My extremely generous mom bought me a sewing machine right before I left for Ohio. I immediately put it to use making a laptop bag for myself. I had all this extra fabric as well as a lack of laptop bag. Plus I had never made a purse before and wanted to give it a try. I have to say that I’m pretty dang impressed with myself. The bag is far from perfect—there are no right angles and my uneven stitching is pretty obvious. It could never pass for store-bought. But fortunately, I’m not a perfectionist nor am I looking for extra cash, just a creative outlet.

As cute as the bag turned out, I vowed never to make another laptop bag again. I had to re-sew every seam five times. Why? I completely lack spatial intelligence. I would think that I was sewing sides together correctly, but they always ended up backward or inside out. I just can’t think that way. But I guess now I’ve worked out all the kinks. Just in time because my sister immediately asked for her own bag. But don’t get any ideas...

Winter wonderland

We finally had our first snowfall. It always amazes me when I go to bed and the world looks one way, and then I wake up with it covered in a blanket of snow. When I look outside in the morning and am taken aback by the fluffy white, I smile, and get all excited, and run to look out every window. I’m so eager, much like a five year old on Christmas, to see the new world from every angle. The excitement of a first snowfall will never get old.

Luckily, here in Cincinnati it’s too warm to get much snow or for the snow to stick around (no pun intend) for very long. Already it’s melted in the streets. (But it did stay long enough for me to have an excuse to skip going to the gym.) At the same time, that is the saddest part--when the snow melts. Instead a sense of wonder, with a soft, white veil making the world seem pure, you start to see reality. The world begins to look unclean, slushy, bleak. And you go back to work and get on with your adult life, leaving the child in you behind.

Revisiting Bloomington

I visited "Adventures of a Heckler" today, hoping for some inspiration along with an update. It came through! Heather was talking about Biola and I was inspired to write about my college. As is happens, this past weekend Paul and I visited Bloomington, Indiana, the home of my alma mater, Indiana University.

IU is about 2.5 hours from here, a nice little drive, mostly two lanes through small towns. Paul and I had a fun afternoon together, just walking and driving around, soaking up the incredible sun on our cold-chapped cheeks. We visited the local winery—free tasting!—and then went for a “hike” near Monroe Lake. It was really nice to share such a huge part of my past with Paul. I got so excited telling him everything about all the buildings on campus, and showing him my apartments and my church, and taking him along the paths I walked to class. It made me wish that Paul was with me when I was at IU.

I revisited Bloomington for the first time about a year after I graduated. That trip was a time of closure for me. I was really reluctant to leave school—for all the things I didn’t like about being there—and had not quite gotten over that until I went back and really said goodbye. This time around, I had some realizations, among them how much the experience at IU was worth it. Because I had been thinking that maybe I regretted going there. But walking around campus and around town and seeing all the things I loved and all things I had never visited made me realize that what I regretted were the opportunities I missed while I was at IU. If you can, just imagine a more reserved, fearful, hesitant version of myself. I had not yet learned the virtues of risk, of stepping out and meeting people, trying new things, and reaching beyond my comfort zone. I tended to only a few close friends and many hours alone with some books. So, I missed out on many things.

This recent trip also made me realize that even with my regrets, I wouldn’t exchange IU for anything because of what I did experience there. Foremost, it is the place and moment I personally encountered God. I became a Christian my sophomore year at IU through Campus Crusade. And then there was the independence I gained at school. I could never put my finger on why I went so far from home. But I needed that escape, that refuge, and that break, and I needed to force myself to rely on me. Bloomington is a bite-sized city, easily navigable, underwhelming, and centered on IU. It gave me the training wheels I needed to become an independent adult. And, of course, there are the friendships I would never give up, the closest of which ultimately led me to Paul.

I’m just now realizing that the regrets from school have prompted me to pursue things since then. I have experienced so much in the last few years for fear of having more regrets. And the Bloomington trip reminds me of how I need to experience life here in Cincinnati, despite sometimes feeling overwhelmed and alone. Because if I ever leave, I do not want to leave a trail of regrets in my wake.