Wedding ideas

I know you’re waiting for me to post something—anything!—about wedding planning. You’re thinking, “Stop writing about the stupid weather!” You photo whores (to use a term from the Knot) want to see some ideas. Am I right? Well, I’ve been spending a lot of time on the Knot. In fact, I’ve made friends with the girls on the Orange County message boards. (Which made me sad when I realized they were in Orange County like all my other friends =( ) So wedding ideas were the last thing I felt like posting about. I’m feeling pretty calm right now, with all the major stuff taken care of: booked my place, the caterer, the DJ, the photographer, and got the Save the Date cards printed.

So damn cold!

When Paul and I left Cincinnati for a little road trip on Saturday morning, it was so warm we didn’t have to wear our winter coats. I’m talking like 50 degrees. Wow! So you can imagine our surprise and discomfort when we arrive in Chicago, at a mere 20 degrees, sans gloves and hats. Winter is always bearable in the warmth of a heated apartment, gripping a hot mug a coffee. And then you find yourself walking around the Windy City (and I mean windy!) and you think "I’m never moving to Chicago!!” The walk from the train back to the car was so painfully cold; I’ve never been so cold in my life. We had a really fun weekend visiting Paul’s twin and his new wife, eating Chinese and deep dish pizza, and seeing downtown. But I was excited to get back to sunny, warm Cincinnati. So you can imagine our surprise and discomfort when we arrive in front of Paul’s house, at a mere 19 degrees, sans gloves and hats. What the heck?! I was practically crying the whole drive back to my house I was so uncomfortably cold. It’s still 20 degrees out. Like I need more motivation to not leave my house...

Snow day!

It finally snowed! Real snow. We had several inches (3 or 4) overnight on Saturday and we woke up to a beautiful winter wonderland! Plus, snow doesn't get plowed until noon, so we had a snow day from church! (should I be less excited about that???). Paul and I went for a late breakfast and then on a snow walk near my house. Here are a couple pics:

Happy birthday to me!

I can see some snow flurries falling right outside my window. A birthday snow just for me! (Hope it doesn’t snow too hard…I have to drive to my birthday massage.) No matter how old (or how depressed) I am, I always get excited on my birthday. Birthdays are special. I feel special on my birthday, and feeling special is hard to come by. I want attention on my birthday, even though I claim I don’t. I like that I’m the only one getting presents. (And honestly, I’m still a little bitter about my sister opening a wedding gift on my birthday. Well, ha! It’s my turn now.) I was thinking yesterday how funny it was, the dichotomy of birthday feelings. There’s this conflicting mix of feeling incredibly excited and special and also feeling fairly depressed. Birthdays remind me of how much I haven’t accomplished, and, frankly, that I’m closer to death. But I think it was Paul that reminded me that just because I haven’t done something by the time I’m 29 it doesn’t mean I’ll never do it. I could argue, What if I die tomorrow without doing it? But then, when I’m in heaven I’ll probably have better things to think about.

When will it ever end???

It’s been raining nonstop since Friday night at 10pm. Nonstop. I don’t think people in California realize what this means. When Californians say it’s been raining constantly they mean there have been intermittent showers during the night, or that it’s been raining heavily for an hour. Here in Cincinnati it has a completely different meaning. While it hasn’t been a constant heavy downpour, there has been water falling from the sky without ceasing for almost 60 hours. Okay, so 60 hours doesn’t seem like that much when you put it in other terms—2 and a half days. But on the third day of waking up with bright hopes of sunshine (or least not having to don--again--ugly black boots), and your dreams are shattered, then 60 hours seems like an eternity. Oh precious rays of light where are you?!

Friends

For someone shy, making friends is an endeaver, one not to be executed easily. And I’m learning that older you get the harder it is to make friends. In elementary school and high school, it’s your purpose in life to make friends, to “hang” out, tell each other secrets. In college, everyone is in the same place—friendless—and meeting people is easy. But in that post-college, post-right-out-of-college stage, not everyone is looking for a best friend. In fact, people’s friend-meters are about at their limit, and even having coffee with another person is more than they can take.

So making friends is hard. But then you add making friends while wanting to spend time with your fiancé, making friends as a couple, and making friends in the same life stage (married, no kids) and the task seems Herculean. I was reminded this morning how great it is to have friends in different life stages—it reminds us from where we’ve come and gives us perspective on where we’re going. I was also reminded that it’s okay to feel lost, or confused, or overwhelmed when life switches stages. And that God’s love and grace mean we don’t have to handle it well. I don’t have to “handle it" at all. That said, is it too much to ask to meet one married person who doesn’t have children?

I was talking to an older friend the other day. I told her that a certain guy doesn’t understand how I feel, and she said get used to it—he’s a guy and he’ll never understand. It’s true—with each other, guys talk about topics (sports, theology, movies, etc.) So they can relate no matter what stage of life they’re in. But when girls talk, they share their life experiences (school, guys, kids.) So it’s a lot harder to relate to someone when you can’t share their experiences. And it’s hard for a guy to understand why I need friends without kids.

I cherish those friends that I will have and love no matter how different our lives are. And I know I'm not being entirely willing and open-minded. It just would be nice to have a friend who doesn’t need to find a babysitter every time we get together and meet a group of girls whose conversation isn’t centered around diapers.